This is why I don’t click clickbait

On a random day recently (say, for example, May 18, 2019) I peeked at Apple’s News app on my iPad. Maybe I was bored (maybe I was waiting for my wife to get out of the shower) and yes, there appeared the normal “Top Stories” section with the important news, curated probably by the editors. (And who knows, maybe these editors were of the dying breed who possess that increasingly hard-to-find relic called a "Journalism Degree")


But more telling is the "Trending Stories" section. For this reveals the main interests of actual readers. (or maybe just actual clickers--I wonder if anyone actually reads anything after the click...) And this is at once stunning and embarrassing, since I am, by association, part of this "over-age-10 English reader" group who clicked these stories up to the top.


Let's take a brief look at the "headlines":


  1. Calvin Klein apologizes to LGBTQ community for ad with model kissing robot. Who cares. It's an ad. It's a robot. And why is any single group offended more than any other? It's a robot for crying out loud. I've already given this topic more words than it deserves. 
    2.  
  2. Homeland chief threatens to leave over Stephen Miller. OK, some possible serious news here. (Unless, of course, the chief was offended because Miller kissed a robot, or, or, or...) 
    3.  
  3. Lunchroom worker gave out free lunch, got fired. Wouldn’t take job back when offered. You go, girl. 
    4.  
  4. NYPD officer hires hitman to kill husband and boyfriend’s daughter. Whoa, wait, don’t read this one, just watch it on The Jerry Springer Show. 
    5.  
  5. Celebs react to a hair makeover. Nuff said. 
    6.  
  6. Trump is mad about something. The requisite Trump story. Surprised it’s #6.


Keep in mind, these aren’t the news stories (thankfully), they are the trending stories, and they represent what the American “reading” public is concerned about. It is concrete evidence that we are in fact heading toward the (formerly) fictitious state of the union described in the 2006 film, Idiocracy.


If you think the current state of affairs in America is not great, don't blame Trump. He's a symptom, not a cause. Wanna Make America Great Again? I would change one letter: change the G to a T:  MATA, Make America Think Again. We will be great again. Start thinking, start reading, and whatever you do, don't ever click on "Celebrities React to Hair Makeover" or "One Crazy Trick Makes Wrinkles Disappear!"  Ever. Just don't do it.


Nuff said.


Location: Memphis, TN, USA

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